7 Secrets To A Successful Marriage
If you are in the process of meeting prospective grooms to get married or have been dating someone for a long time and think of settling down, then you will find a lot of unsolicited courtship or dating advice coming your way. If you are getting married, you are likely to be receiving a lot of relationship advice from the elders and ‘experienced’ members in the family. And if have you have been married for a long time and are facing the 7-year-itch, then your family might sit you down for a session of ‘couples counselling’.
No matter what stage your alliance is in, relationship advice will always be imparted to you whether you ask for it or not. But sometimes, being prepared and knowing the early signs of a crisis saves the day for you. Here are 7 secrets to a successful marriage which help you rock your relationship without going for any couples’ therapy.
Have a system of ‘I, You and Us’: You can water another cup only when your cup is brimming over. Happiness begins with yourself. So while it is important to ensure you have time for each other, maintain your individual time and space. This will ensure that you put each other on your priority list and make the most of the time together. It also means you won’t take each other for granted. When you do things you love, you make sure you are not frustrated, and this feeling of happiness stemming from self-love will spill into your relationship.
Be a good listener: Whether you are the husband or wife, be a good listener. Being a support system is not a gender-based role. Both of you should have the comfort of being able to confide in each other without the stress of being judged or the conversation leading to a fight. Be each other’s best friend. Remember that listening and hearing are not the same thing. Listening involves our hearts, and thus when you listen with all your heart, you end up improving your bond.
Agree to disagree: You are a couple, not a pair of conjoined twins. Being good together does not mean that you have agree on every little thing. You both can have your individual opinions on a matter. You may not want to go to the same restaurant the same day. You may not like each other’s friends. But none of these factors are as important as your relationship. It’s ok to not have the same views, as long as you understand your differences.
Take responsibility for what you do: When you and your partner have a disagreement or argument, remember to take responsibility for your actions, including anything you did or said, especially if it was hurtful, unthoughtful or created adversity. Don’t hesitate to apologise and keep your ego aside. Place your relationship above yourself and be mature when an unpleasant situation develops.
Date each other again and again: Don’t let domestic duties or children hamper your romance. Mark a date night in your calendar which is non-negotiable. Switch off your phones off and put them away so you are free of distractions. Watch a movie at home with popcorn or go hiking or rollerblading together. It does not matter what you do on a date night, as long as you are together doing things which you love and which brings you closer.
Keep the spark alive: A surprise dinner plan, an unexpected romantic note, a day pass to the spa, or an unplanned long drive… the excitement of the unexpected is sure to keep your heart racing. Also, ensure that you have regular, good sex. Bring on the toys, try some new positions, go to a new place, do the new when it comes to bedroom antics.
Appreciate a lot, and then a lot more: A modern saying says, “A compliment a day keeps the divorce attorney away.” Appreciating your partner’s efforts will create a positive vibe between both of you. Paying compliments and expressing gratitude for what your spouse does, and simply being happy about having each other will go a long way in your relationships. Thing can dive noseward at times, but instead of focusing on the negative, motivate each other with the positive memories.